Metal Detecting Online

At dawn the telephone rings:

"Hello, Senor Randy? This is

Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Randy, that your parrot died.
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"
"Si, Senor,that's the one."
"Dang! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird What did he

die from?"
"From eating rotten meat, Senor Randy"
"Rotten meat? Who the heck fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Randy."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Yes Senor Randy, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor"
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire"

"What the hell??....Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle??!!!
"Yes, Senor Randy."
"But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Randy."
" WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!"
"Your wife's, Senor Randy... She showed
up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Fisher F70 metal detector.
SILENCE..................

LOOOOONG SILENCE...............

"Ernesto, if you broke that detector, you're in deep sh&#!! "